We are planning to make a theme tune for ourselves. We are going to write a song and video aspects of our daily lives and edit them together into something snappy and indicative, then we will play it on a screen each morning as we wake up (it could work as an alarm clock) and last thing at night.

The beginning and end theme tunes will need to be subtly different, for instance the beginning tune will need to conclude with a fading chord so that it leads encouragingly into the opening scene. Since each opening scene will be generally similar – turning off the alarm clock, getting out of bed etc – those first moments might in time be assumed by the closing chord of the theme tune and fade into repetition, so our actions in real life gradually become part of the videotaped theme tune. Once that happens, perhaps eating breakfast will be sucked in to the theme tune too, and so on and so on. We wonder how far outwards it will stretch, and likewise for bedtime before the end theme tune begins.


  • I have often wondered what would happen if we all found out that in fact the time we spend in the shower is the real time of our lives, and all the time around that – sleeping, waking, eating, dressing, working, resting, brushing our teeth – are just preparatory activities for the shower period.
  • Several years ago I woke myself up laughing at something I’d done in a dream, which was to conclude a long and complicated game of ping-pong-tennis by opening my mouth into a circle and concisely consuming the ball, which turned out to be a kind of cheesy puff. Dozens of people had been playing this game, and at the point of my gobbling up their ball everything skidded to a halt, possibly with the sound of music halting and everyone groaning or laughing.
  • One of the best jokes I have ever heard was in the context of the Middle High German Vowel Shift. The joke was that one morning a German woke up, realized what had happened, and ran around the village shouting “Guys! Guys! There’s been a vowel shift!”, and that was what caused everyone to change their vowels.